think tank forum

I wrote this in 2 hours. Just had an idea and wrote it down. Helped me overcome my dialog block.

Mr. Tanner meets the Devil.
Erik Granger

Mr. Tanner was a very skeptical man in his late 30s. His hair was gray, and he was balding way before his time. He didn't mind this fact because he was an old man at heart. He worked at a university as an astronomy professor, but preferred not to use the title of “Doctor” as he had been using “Mr. Tanner” all his life, and just couldn't be assed to change the habit. He liked to keep repeating his habits. Everything was a constant. “Too many variables make things messy”, he would say, “Best to keep things in the norm.”
The Devil is very unlike Mr. Tanner. Instead of embracing being old (over 5000 years old, according to some scholars), he tries desperately to hang on to youth. He is famous the world over for not settling down and raising a family, and opts instead to do childish things like stealing souls and gambling with golden fiddles. Not everyone believes he exists, however, and this doesn't bother him because he likes to be mysterious, in the same way a 12 year old boy likes dressing like a vampire for Halloween.
The Devil usually bothers old priests and puritans for their souls, so it surprised everyone in hell when he decided to go after Mr. Tanner's soul. So he did his usual thing, showed up in Mr. Tanners office dressed slightly menacingly and waited for Mr. Tanner to come in.
Mr. Tanner headed up to his office as he usually does with a stack of papers and photos. His students were all headed to whatever it is that the young kids do now-a-days and he was off to drop the stack off and go to bed. It was 4 o'clock in the morning, and he was tired and cranky. What made him even more cranky was the sharply dressed man in his office.
“What are you doing here?” he demanded from the man
The Devil replied, “I am here to strike a bargain with you, Mr. Tanner, I'm in need of something, something you can provide, and I know I can get you something you...”
“Who are you?” Mr. Tanner interrupted, “How did you get in here?”
The Devil, used to this sort of thing, answered calmly, “Why, I'm the collector of souls, tempter of pure, a stranger, the Anti-Christ, the Devil!”
“I don't believe in the Devil”, responded Mr. Tanner.
“Well, obviously I'm right here, so I exist.”
“Oh, is that so?”
“Yes, it doesn't get more apparent than a physical apparition in your office, Mr. Tanner.”
“But I don't believe in any Devil, therefore you're probably just a guy in my office.”
“Mr. Tanner, I assure you, I am the Devil.” said the Devil, getting slightly irritated. Usually the person he as attempting to negotiate with would demand proof, but this one just simply refused to accept it.
“I don't believe you are, I believe you're just a figment of my imagination”, said Mr. Tanner.
“A figment of your imagination?” the Devil laughed. “Can a figment of your imagination do this?”
He shot a flame out of his hand, the flame shaped itself into a bird, which flew around the room, then out of it's beak a large tongue flitted out, and in a few seconds, a dragon of fire flew about the room.
“See, that doesn't prove anything, since if you are in my imagination, I am pretty sure I can fabricate something like that happening.”
“Oh, why don't you just accept that I'm real?”
“What, and be a crazy person?”
“Lots of people do it, are they crazy?”
“Maybe they are, I don't know. I am unfit to make that evaluation.
“I guarantee you, I am real.”
“No you aren't.”
“Yes I am!” The Devil was getting increasingly annoyed. This was very frustrating and new to him. “Your lack of faith may cost you in the end.”
“That's quite a threat for me to direct at myself...”
“You're just being ridiculous now!”
“Oh come on, of course you're in my head. Think about it for a second, don't you think that it's sort of weird how you're thousands of years old and still around? How many 5000 year olds have you met? None! That's because it's an impossibility to live that long, especially on the technology they had 5000 years ago. Don't you think it's more likely I'm just imagining you?”
“I doubt it. I've contented myself with being 5000 years old on my 5000th birthday. I know who I am, the question is, do you?”
“I'm pretty sure I do. You're a dreamworld fantasy. I mean, come on, I've been up on a roof all night telling college freshmen how a telescope works. It's tiring stuff. I know from past experience that when I'm tired, I go to sleep. I also know from experience that when I'm asleep I see stupid stuff like the Devil trying to convince me he's real.” Mr. Tanner explained in a matter-of-fact sort of way.
“Well, just because you don't believe me doesn't mean that I simply don't exist. Obviously I think I exist, so I do.” the Devil retorted. He was starting to become confused, though determined to in this argument
“I'm not saying you don't exist, I'm saying you don't exist in reality. You obviously just don't get it, do you?”
“No, please explain”
“You exist in my head, but you don't think that you don't exist because in my imagination you don't think you don't exist. Therefore, of course you'd argue that you exist.”
“That seems to make sense... so I don't exist?”
“Not in physicality, no.”
“That's sort of depressing...”
“Oh, don't be so hard on yourself. According to M Theory, there's a universe out there where you do exist.”
“What?”
“According to M Theory, you exist, but only in another universe.”
“Hmmm... I gotta find this universe... but how would I do that?”
“If this is my dream, then whatever physics you can think of will work.”
“You're not making sense.”
“Well, if you're in a dream, then anything I think will be the case because it's my imagination and I can do imagine lots of things. For example, I have a 9mm in the top drawer of my desk. If you shoot yourself with it, then you'll find yourself in another universe just because I imagine you would.”
With that, Mr. Tanner handed the Devil the gun, and the Devil promptly shot himself.