what gives you anxiety? for me, the biggest thing is hanging out with people who I think are cool and would like to be friends with but don't know that well yet.
I am getting dinner with this girl I like (both as a friend and possibly otherwise, could go either way. point is, even if nothing romantic happens I am 100% cool with being friends because she just seems like a cool and smart person.) tonight and am ridiculously nervous about it. I can not focus on my work right now and my stomach is all in a knot and stuff. I hate this!
I am getting dinner with this girl I like (both as a friend and possibly otherwise, could go either way. point is, even if nothing romantic happens I am 100% cool with being friends because she just seems like a cool and smart person.) tonight and am ridiculously nervous about it. I can not focus on my work right now and my stomach is all in a knot and stuff. I hate this!
:(
don't be nervous about me coming to boston I am not cool
i'm going to the harvard MODEL UN after all
haha.
i'm going to the harvard MODEL UN after all
haha.
hahaha I'm not too nervous! for some reason this type of anxiety isn't as intense with people I know online. it's more so people I am acquainted with in person.
on a somewhat related to this thread note, I hate being made to feel like I am waiting for someone to summon me to hang out. I was exchanging messages with this girl on Facebook. she sent one around noon being like "hey I am going to this thing at 6, want to meet up before or after? and do you know any good places to eat around there?" I responded a little over an hour later saying we could just meet up there (it is an event related to somewhere we both volunteer) or if she is going from home (we live near each other) we could just take the subway together. I also suggested a restaurant.
so four hours later, right now, I am home from work, and I have no word from her. first, I think she should have the foresight, if she was going to be away from a computer all day, to exchange phone numbers. second, I do not want to sit at home for an hour before hearing something like, "ok let's get dinner now," from her, because I will honestly probably be bitter about being made to sit around waiting enough so that I will have no desire to hang out anymore.
/rant
on a somewhat related to this thread note, I hate being made to feel like I am waiting for someone to summon me to hang out. I was exchanging messages with this girl on Facebook. she sent one around noon being like "hey I am going to this thing at 6, want to meet up before or after? and do you know any good places to eat around there?" I responded a little over an hour later saying we could just meet up there (it is an event related to somewhere we both volunteer) or if she is going from home (we live near each other) we could just take the subway together. I also suggested a restaurant.
so four hours later, right now, I am home from work, and I have no word from her. first, I think she should have the foresight, if she was going to be away from a computer all day, to exchange phone numbers. second, I do not want to sit at home for an hour before hearing something like, "ok let's get dinner now," from her, because I will honestly probably be bitter about being made to sit around waiting enough so that I will have no desire to hang out anymore.
/rant
yeah, that's annoying
:)
Lol ... no comment.
If she never talks to you every again, welcome to my girl trouble.
But phi, you have a valentine...?
I haven't blown her up yet. :-/
she actually messaged me when she got home tonight and was like, "you didn't show!" (wtf?) she also gave me her number so we could "coordinate better next time." maybe she is just bad at the internet.
the latter is the truth
> what gives you anxiety?
people
people
Meeting new people.
Getting paid a lot of money to do a job you don't actually know how to do.
I'll be doing this in 4 hours. :-\
I'll be doing this in 4 hours. :-\
that is scary! job situations like that make me anxious too.
turns out this girl just stinks at the internet. we are going to hang out this Wednesday.
turns out this girl just stinks at the internet. we are going to hang out this Wednesday.
^ It turned out well!
Glad you figured things out with her
Glad you figured things out with her
sometimes i get anxious when i have an exam soon and only an A is an acceptable mark.
Needing to job hunt. *shudder*
im getting really anxious about this grad school thing. as im filling applications out im having major doubts about whether i should go right in and even if ill be accepted.
i really can't wait till may 5 when i graduate, application process is done, and i just sit back and relax.
i really can't wait till may 5 when i graduate, application process is done, and i just sit back and relax.
I have my first engagement shoot tomorrow, and I am terrified.
Also, struggling to think of good poses/suggestions for a middle-aged couple! I just hope I can snag a few decisive moments
Also, struggling to think of good poses/suggestions for a middle-aged couple! I just hope I can snag a few decisive moments
i think i hate that dof
nice hat, though
> what gives you anxiety?
health problems
health problems
> I have my first engagement shoot tomorrow, and I am terrified.
Now the wedding is in less than 48 hours and I am far, far more terrified.
Now the wedding is in less than 48 hours and I am far, far more terrified.
props for doing it (assuming you do :]).
make it your bitch
im terrified i am developing a benign tumor in the tip of my nose. it might be rhinophyma
sounds like a visit to the doctor is in order.
also
- talking to girls I like
- talking to girls I like
I have had this like pit-of-the-stomach anxious feeling for the past few days and I'm not sure why. it's the one that makes me not hungry at all. same thing I get on a first date or something. I suspect it is because I've been talking to this girl online and kind of re-developing a crush on her, but she's never given me this type of anxiety before. argh.
perhaps it is because I kind of cut things off with her in the past (we were never offically dating or in a relationship though) and am worried I missed my chance.
I hate this feeling!
perhaps it is because I kind of cut things off with her in the past (we were never offically dating or in a relationship though) and am worried I missed my chance.
I hate this feeling!
I also have this irrational desire to go straight home from work today and go for a moped or bike ride or something, instead of going to tutoring. I know going home will not make me feel better in the least and I will probably just take a nap or something, but it's kind of like one of those urges to call in sick to work that you can't justify but you can't prevent yourself from doing either.
turns out there is no tutoring today anyway! I am home now. thinking about a moped ride.
Moped ride is never a bad idea. I say go for it, man. Let those anxieties fall off as you putt around on your ride.
437 pictures that need my attention, for three different clients.
Also, a date with a girl.
i thought you didn't even like girls--yet you're dating one?
:-o
Girl on Girl dating is bad for men.
Chances are if two girls are seriously dating, men didn't have too much of a chance anyway. Same thing for guy/guy dating and women.
I don't get why people get so worked up over these things.
I don't get why people get so worked up over these things.
Worked up over what things? dating people?
I just don't hang out with girls much, so I get a little anxious :)
I just don't hang out with girls much, so I get a little anxious :)
Take lots of pics. And film. And send it to me for editing. Remember to end in a big dance number so I can sell this in mumbai.
haha
go go stereotypical indian films
go go stereotypical indian films
Go for first base Étrangère
lately not having any work to do at work has been stressing me out wicked bad. sitting here and doing nothing suckssssssssssssssssssss.
I think anxiety has been fucking with my appetite lately. like my stomach is 100% empty right now, and I really want to go get a big brunch on my break from work and enjoy it, but I feel physically unable to enjoy food. anything I eat is just not satisfying and I have to struggle through it, so instead I've been eating really shitty and having chips and gatorade all the time instead of eating good meals. I can't tell if this is from having weird girl anxiety or what. bleh.
Maybe you don't like food because you don't eat good food.
Is this about that long-distance girl? :-\
yes
I am doing much better today!
Good!
I've got an oral math exam tomorrow. My topics are second order differential equations, mathematical induction and sequences and sums. I've never done this before, so I'm a bit anxious.
oral math exam; interesting. have you studied?
20+ applications
0 call backs
Running out of money
Better half and I are over
Mom is yelling at me everyday
Brother is starting to as well
Clean, clean, clean, clean, clean.
0 call backs
Running out of money
Better half and I are over
Mom is yelling at me everyday
Brother is starting to as well
Clean, clean, clean, clean, clean.
> oral math exam; interesting. have you studied?
Yeah, I've prepared a little lecture. It works like this: At least 48 hours in advance we're told we're having the oral math exam, and get to pick a very general topic (i picked "mathematical models"). We then prepare a lecture on a more specific topic. In the first 10-15 minutes of the exam we give our lecture, then we get general questions for 15-20 minutes.
I like teaching, so I think it'll be fun. :)
Yeah, I've prepared a little lecture. It works like this: At least 48 hours in advance we're told we're having the oral math exam, and get to pick a very general topic (i picked "mathematical models"). We then prepare a lecture on a more specific topic. In the first 10-15 minutes of the exam we give our lecture, then we get general questions for 15-20 minutes.
I like teaching, so I think it'll be fun. :)
phi > time to cut fixed costs.
... ?
Good luck, boys. Things will turn out. :)
I own a cheap banjo, bed, and a nice vcr/dvd unit. That's it.
Well, my exam was OK. I got the grade 6, which is the best you can get. :)
Watching this guy (in green) "trying to be a badass" and fucking up his car. Enlarge photo. :-o
We just caught him smashing into the light pole, glass flying everywhere. The dude was unconcious for a few seconds and tossed over into his passenger seat, but came out of it with only a gash on his right arm.
Cops didn't seem too concerned so we were able to leave w/out being questioned.
We just caught him smashing into the light pole, glass flying everywhere. The dude was unconcious for a few seconds and tossed over into his passenger seat, but came out of it with only a gash on his right arm.
Cops didn't seem too concerned so we were able to leave w/out being questioned.
Oh yeah, we drove by the scene after this too :( But didn't find out that's what had happened until the next day.
The fireworks were great...it's too bad the family wasn't there together to enjoy them
The fireworks were great...it's too bad the family wasn't there together to enjoy them
Dude was pulling a wagon when a lightning bolt decided to hit him in the forehead? :\ Anxiety is apt, given a god like this.
well, he was at a harvest church event
anxiety ruined my dinner yesterday.
you are far too skinny for that :(
shooting a muslim wedding reception tonight for 6+ hrs. pretty sure it's going to be awkward.
Waiting on the results of my UA. I've been smoking pretty much everyday for the past two weeks, then found out I have a UA yesterday.
Not good, phi_, not good
why awkward?
white girl in a sea of culture?
just a guess
just a guess
because all white people are cultureless.
unless jewish, i think white people usually have way less culture than traditional muslims
I dunno my people were enslaving each other and fighting the romans naked around the same time they were.
i just mean popular traditions for white people aren't very common, unless jewish or maybe catholic. most christian traditions are a joke now, though.
sure, but comparing a racial group (white people) that is made up of quite a few different ethnic groups (including Jews sometimes, depends who you ask and what the context is) to a religious group that is made up of quite a few different ethnic and racial groups is kind of lazy and reductive, is all.
culture isn't defined by religion. the irish still like to drink and fight, and the russians are still hopelessly depressed manic depressive.
sounds more like you're talking about white americans than whites in general, lucas.
i didn't say that religion defines culture. but i think in many cases, religion helps maintain cultural traditions.
i imagine most of europeans and russians to be pretty boring. guess that's just me.
really, i think westernization and globalization kills culture. the western world is mostly white people.
yeah, lazy. like i said originally, just a guess. next time i'll say "a rebecca in a sea of muslims."
i imagine most of europeans and russians to be pretty boring. guess that's just me.
really, i think westernization and globalization kills culture. the western world is mostly white people.
yeah, lazy. like i said originally, just a guess. next time i'll say "a rebecca in a sea of muslims."
A stagnant culture is not a vibrant culture IMHO.
The living cultures of the west have given rise to things like cyberpunk, and steampunk, and a gajillion other subcultures. I've heard the argument countless times the US lacks culture. I disagree, I'd say we simply have a very vibrant and ever changing culture. We do also have traditions.
I disagree with your statement categorically on those grounds.
The living cultures of the west have given rise to things like cyberpunk, and steampunk, and a gajillion other subcultures. I've heard the argument countless times the US lacks culture. I disagree, I'd say we simply have a very vibrant and ever changing culture. We do also have traditions.
I disagree with your statement categorically on those grounds.
we have a very non-ethnic culture, I think. in the sense that it's a kind of mess of a bunch of different cultures.
I think imagining the western world as less "cultured" 1. probably sells a lot of european culture short and 2. happens because a lot of their culture is similar to ours, so it doesn't seem all that different or strange.
I'm not trying to be PC about this, I'm just trying to point out that talking about race and culture and ethnicity and stuff doesn't really lend itself to simplicity. but once you start thinking with the frame of mind of kind of dissecting different racial and ethnic terms and what they mean across the entire human race it becomes kind of second nature.
I think imagining the western world as less "cultured" 1. probably sells a lot of european culture short and 2. happens because a lot of their culture is similar to ours, so it doesn't seem all that different or strange.
I'm not trying to be PC about this, I'm just trying to point out that talking about race and culture and ethnicity and stuff doesn't really lend itself to simplicity. but once you start thinking with the frame of mind of kind of dissecting different racial and ethnic terms and what they mean across the entire human race it becomes kind of second nature.
i agree with you both.
Wow, that spurred quite the conversation. :)
> why awkward?
I suspected it would be awkward because the men and women strictly (with the exception of very young boys, who may enter both) sit in separate rooms. The only reason I was allowed in both is because A. I am a non-muslim and B. I am female. It was palatably more tense while in the men's room, but they were all very polite to me. Only one man requested I not photograph him.
Too bad I didn't get there sooner to warn her...the videographer, Meg, made the mistake of offering to shake the bride's father's hand upon meeting him. He refused, of course, and I guess she was pretty mortified. Luckily I didn't make any similar faux-pas. I thoroughly researched the event and general Islamic sex-based traditions the day before. :)
> why awkward?
I suspected it would be awkward because the men and women strictly (with the exception of very young boys, who may enter both) sit in separate rooms. The only reason I was allowed in both is because A. I am a non-muslim and B. I am female. It was palatably more tense while in the men's room, but they were all very polite to me. Only one man requested I not photograph him.
Too bad I didn't get there sooner to warn her...the videographer, Meg, made the mistake of offering to shake the bride's father's hand upon meeting him. He refused, of course, and I guess she was pretty mortified. Luckily I didn't make any similar faux-pas. I thoroughly researched the event and general Islamic sex-based traditions the day before. :)
i agree with nny, americans always shortchange their culture.. living a culture 'feels like nothing', while looking in on others always seems more interesting..
I am going hiking with this girl I like (both as a friend and possibly otherwise, could go either way. Point is, even if nothing romantic happens I am 100 % cool with being friends because she just seems like a cool and smart person) tomorrow and am ridiculously nervous about it. I can not focus on my work right now and my stomach is all in a knot and stuff. I love this!
that's exciting!
We're going here: http://tinyurl.com/mc3xaw
you love it?!?! what's wrong with you!
It's exciting, that's why I love it!
/o/
I have to say I agree with bluet. I love that feeling. I wish I got that feeling more often these days, sometimes I think it's what's missing in my life.
agree with bluet and chiken
it's a good feeling, as long as it hasn't been going on for years unrequited
truth.
i am happy to have not had any particularly strong romantic feelings for anybody in nearly a year. but then again if an opportunity presented itself...
...
this isn't really an "anxiety" thing but this seems to be the "therapy" thread so I'll post it here.
I have trouble dating or seeing a girl after I've determined that while I enjoy her company considerably, I have ruled her out as a long-term significant other (and this is usually fairly quickly; mostly the same way I'd judge someone to be a long-term friend candidate). most people tell me I should just keep hanging out with them if it's fun, and sometimes I'd like to.
but the important thing isn't what I'd like to do so much as what I will allow myself to do. I have some weird aversion to going on a date with someone after I've "ruled them out." this isn't like a moral objection to being sexual with someone after you've "ruled them out" at all, it's just some weird feeling that there's not much point in hanging out with them anymore.
maybe the long-term is a little too important to me.
I may or may not regret making this post.
I have trouble dating or seeing a girl after I've determined that while I enjoy her company considerably, I have ruled her out as a long-term significant other (and this is usually fairly quickly; mostly the same way I'd judge someone to be a long-term friend candidate). most people tell me I should just keep hanging out with them if it's fun, and sometimes I'd like to.
but the important thing isn't what I'd like to do so much as what I will allow myself to do. I have some weird aversion to going on a date with someone after I've "ruled them out." this isn't like a moral objection to being sexual with someone after you've "ruled them out" at all, it's just some weird feeling that there's not much point in hanging out with them anymore.
maybe the long-term is a little too important to me.
I may or may not regret making this post.
:-\
Got this e-mail from my former better-half 21 hours ago.
Spent the past 21 hours (minus 5 for sleep) questioning whether or not to even respond. I finally broke down a few minutes ago and texted her ... she called me and said she wanted to hang because she's back in town. I nearly broke down and screamed at her, but I just let it all slide ... she's supposed to call me AGAIN when she gets home, and I'm so anxious I'm about to throw up. I don't want her to, I don't want to talk to her, but I don't want her gone from my life as good as it would be for me.
I hate this. I always think I'm past it and she manages to dig something up. This happens every time.
Call me as soon as you can. I really want to see you. I've missed you and I couldn't apologize more profusely.
Spent the past 21 hours (minus 5 for sleep) questioning whether or not to even respond. I finally broke down a few minutes ago and texted her ... she called me and said she wanted to hang because she's back in town. I nearly broke down and screamed at her, but I just let it all slide ... she's supposed to call me AGAIN when she gets home, and I'm so anxious I'm about to throw up. I don't want her to, I don't want to talk to her, but I don't want her gone from my life as good as it would be for me.
I hate this. I always think I'm past it and she manages to dig something up. This happens every time.
I sympathize :(
But it sounds to me like you're both in need of a better resolution. Hopefully meeting will give you one.
But it sounds to me like you're both in need of a better resolution. Hopefully meeting will give you one.
also, I think that the only girl in recent memory who struck me as someone I liked enough to keep dating in the interest of being in a relationship is someone who I started hanging out with like two weeks before she moved pretty far away. laaaame.
Asemi: I feel you, there. It's a shit feeling.
hello, loss of appetite. I remember you.
I feel weird going into detail about the situation I'm in right now, but I got a text last night that had a variably awful effect on my appetite/mood all day today.
aaaaaggggghhhhhhh.
I feel weird going into detail about the situation I'm in right now, but I got a text last night that had a variably awful effect on my appetite/mood all day today.
aaaaaggggghhhhhhh.
hang in there!
someone post that picture of the cat
what about the one with the cat hanging from the branch?
this one?
http://thenerdofher.files.wordpress.com/2008/ … e-baby.jpg
or maybe
http://blog.beliefnet.com/freshliving/hanginthere.jpg
http://thenerdofher.files.wordpress.com/2008/ … e-baby.jpg
or maybe
http://blog.beliefnet.com/freshliving/hanginthere.jpg
those are pretty decent
welp, shitty situation, but no more anxiety for now. you win one you lose one.
anxiety gives way to self-destructiveness.
self-destruction? words are of no consequence right now.
"I may or may not regret making this post." anxiety about posting. i feel the same way about long term apathy and girls. if i don't see someone as a potential 'longterm' solution then most of the time they are not worth my attention. i don't want to have to handle someone else's feelings when i am indifferent. but the more specialized i become in studying economics and math stuff the less common interests i find.
you're well on your way to being a true academic! congrats!
Asemi, you're worrying me. :-\
How you doing?
How you doing?
haha, I am doing OK. I appreciate the concern :). two days with family helps. so do cigarettes, depending on what one means by "helps."
k!
Ugh. Come down here. You and phi_. I need to ween you off of cigs.
top for loss of appetite
clif bar and vitamin water for lunch
clif bar and vitamin water for lunch
clonazepam
is that a suggestion? weed has been doing nothing but giving me anxiety lately. bleh.
fuck weed. yeah, get some klonopin.
Upgrade your stash.
out with the anxiety, in with illmatic
Asking --cky to Bone Thugs and Harmony.
--cky is NOT phi_. You'd go to Bone Thugs WITHOUT me? D:
Buy some tickets man! House of Blues 4/22!
I have a date with a girl from okcupid today and I feel like I'm going to barf.
:-\
good luck.
good luck.
south park made barfing on girls funny again.
so basically all day today I was shitting my brains out because I drank a large americano on an empty stomach and also feeling like I was gonna barf because I was going to hang out with this girl. but then we hung out and it was pretty cool. we sat on some grass and then she drove to walden pond and we went swimming. dunno if we'll go on a "date" again, but she was cool. in conclusion, I am no longer experiencing debilitating anxiety.
Congratulations on your successful social interaction with a member of the opposite sex. You are an example to us all.
Holy shit.
I move into a dorm (upperclassmen, no roomies, woo) and begin college again in a fucking week. I'm kind of freaking out right now. Shit's gonna change.
I move into a dorm (upperclassmen, no roomies, woo) and begin college again in a fucking week. I'm kind of freaking out right now. Shit's gonna change.
:-J
a dorm?!?!? those qualifiers make it sound pretty good though, and probably a good idea for while you're in school. what are you going for, phi_?
Media Production. Not my ideal degree plan, but the best UH has to offer (declined my UT Austin acceptance because of the cost and for very personal reasons). Because all my credits from other colleges transferred successfully I only need to complete the elective requirements to graduate, so I'll be out in about 3 semesters if I work hard, 4 if I don't. That's a nice incentive as well.
So now it's my turn at the anxiety wheel.
I just got a second offer from my potential cali employer. I am probably giving notice today and accepting it. I will be likely flying out there to find a place the week after burning man... possibly packing / selling stuff before I leave for burning man.
Problems I face. I do not own a car, and have not held a license in years. I need to go get a license ( maybe as soon as I arrive in cali take the test ), and find a car. But since I'll probably spend most of my cash reserve on the moving... I might end up attempting to bike around mountain view until I can purchase a car.
So... will I be living in mountain view... and relying on bike transport? That would suck.
Arrrrrggghhhh.... curse you non NYC cities!
I just got a second offer from my potential cali employer. I am probably giving notice today and accepting it. I will be likely flying out there to find a place the week after burning man... possibly packing / selling stuff before I leave for burning man.
Problems I face. I do not own a car, and have not held a license in years. I need to go get a license ( maybe as soon as I arrive in cali take the test ), and find a car. But since I'll probably spend most of my cash reserve on the moving... I might end up attempting to bike around mountain view until I can purchase a car.
So... will I be living in mountain view... and relying on bike transport? That would suck.
Arrrrrggghhhh.... curse you non NYC cities!
that sounds pretty awesome, phi_. good luck! and hang out with gatzby.
get a moped or something else like that that doesn't require a license. I dunno what CA's laws are like though.
get a moped or something else like that that doesn't require a license. I dunno what CA's laws are like though.
oh, this could possibly cause me anxiety in the near future: left my job, went back to school, dropped out after two weeks, unsure if I can return to my old job because they can save money by hiring an internal applicant and not filling that person's old position. I can survive until ~february with no source of income, and then I will literally be broke.
I'm trying to decide if it's worth it to stay in my current apartment, stick it out, and try to find a decent job in Boston. or if I should do something stupid/crazy like buy a car, move out of my place, go on a road trip, and see where I end up. because I really don't have a lot that's keeping me in boston beside family and friends, and I really have no idea what I want to do with my life. and it might be fun.
I'm trying to decide if it's worth it to stay in my current apartment, stick it out, and try to find a decent job in Boston. or if I should do something stupid/crazy like buy a car, move out of my place, go on a road trip, and see where I end up. because I really don't have a lot that's keeping me in boston beside family and friends, and I really have no idea what I want to do with my life. and it might be fun.
Road trip sounds wildly irresponsible and I support it.
Why did you drop out?
Why did you drop out?
Then again, Boston sounds like a cool city. I see why you have anxiety...
I hate boston. You know the bars close at like 1:45?
Fucking nazis won the war in boston.
Fucking nazis won the war in boston.
and i thought boston was supposed to be a good irish drinking town
you can live in my basement for free, asemi
I dropped out because I decided I didn't want to be a teacher after all. I guess it took actually going to classes to make me realize this. but I got all my money back.
yeah, 1:45 sounds about right. last call is around then, and I think most places close at 2. the subway stops running at like 12:30-1.
seriously, lucas? how's the job market out there? at this point I'd probably be ok with working a pretty crappy job to get by while I figure out what I want to do.
yeah, 1:45 sounds about right. last call is around then, and I think most places close at 2. the subway stops running at like 12:30-1.
seriously, lucas? how's the job market out there? at this point I'd probably be ok with working a pretty crappy job to get by while I figure out what I want to do.
im a little on the edge after moving into my new place. basement apartment in south oakland and one of the windows does not latch. i've got a curtain rod holding the window shit right now. also my bolt lock does not latch fully. so when locked the door still feels very flimsly like it will open with a light breeze. put in a couple maintenance requests but nothing yet. this is not good with all the electronics crap i've got in there.
eek. just fix it yourself man.
yeah, waiting on shitty landlords (or any landlords really) sucks. but if you can't spare the money to fix it yourself, you kind of have no choice.
somehow I was lucky enough to find a no-fee apartment through a realtor four years ago, have had no rent increases, no significant problems with the house, and am not on a lease right now so I can leave pretty much whenever. but finding something as good or better would probably suck, and I kind of dread it.
somehow I was lucky enough to find a no-fee apartment through a realtor four years ago, have had no rent increases, no significant problems with the house, and am not on a lease right now so I can leave pretty much whenever. but finding something as good or better would probably suck, and I kind of dread it.
> seriously, lucas?
sure, until may or so. the basement isn't very nice, though.
> how's the job market out there?
it's not bad. you should apply for a job where i work. list me as your reference on the application and tell me for which jobs you apply. i'll submit internal recommendations to the hiring manager.
sure, until may or so. the basement isn't very nice, though.
> how's the job market out there?
it's not bad. you should apply for a job where i work. list me as your reference on the application and tell me for which jobs you apply. i'll submit internal recommendations to the hiring manager.
> i'll submit internal recommendations to the hiring manager.
and get financial perks from your hiring :P
the basement really isn't very nice, but I'm sure he'd cut you a supreme deal for it
and get financial perks from your hiring :P
the basement really isn't very nice, but I'm sure he'd cut you a supreme deal for it
like free
srs anxiety tonight about dropping out of school last year. feeling like I had something going for me and gave up on it way too soon and I'm not even entirely sure why. fucking sucks.
anxiety over the past is not something i've ever had. i don't see the point of it. regret sure.... but anxiety? you can't do anything so why feel anxious? Just let what comes come and do your best to dodge the nasty bits.
maybe anxiety isn't the most appropriate thread. either way.
That being said... the future can give me paralyzing anxiety if I make the mistake of dwelling on all I could lose. This is stupid as fuck but a character flaw at this point.
> anxiety over the past is not something i've ever had. i don't see the point of it. regret sure.... but anxiety? you can't do anything so why feel anxious? Just let what comes come and do your best to dodge the nasty bits.
Woh. This post completely pissed me off. I'm glad you redeemed yourself by mentioning your anxiety about the future. (phew)
Woh. This post completely pissed me off. I'm glad you redeemed yourself by mentioning your anxiety about the future. (phew)
p.s. depression isn't real
^ bleh.
I'm trying to set up an appointment with the university psychiatrist to help my anxiety problems. Wish me luck.
best of luck, man
Aren't you scared to go? I would be.
(Sorry).
(Sorry).
I am to an extent. I was never too worried about it before, but it cost me a job I would have really enjoyed so I'm reconsidering that stance.
Anxiety sucks. I'm guessing my problem is far from the size yours is, but I'm always afraid I don't live up to expectations ... Especially in my job :-/
Why is, you think, that you guys feel scared at the prospect of talking to a psychiatrist? His/her job isn't to solve or even analyze your life problems, it's just to prescribe drugs. Phi_ I hope you feel at least a little proud of this decision! If you think your emotional health is uncontrollably and negatively affecting your life, you are doing the right thing.
I hope your psychiatrist is someone you can easily communicate your anxiety to. <3
I hope your psychiatrist is someone you can easily communicate your anxiety to. <3
carpet, what's up with your job that it makes you doubt your worth there? Why do you stay if this is happening?
Last night, the person I was sharing a bed with told me they think they're falling in love with me. I'm not really sure what I feel for this person. :/
Gonna pull out some choice quotes... from a character whom my moniker on this forum is taken.
"Sometimes...you can cry until there's nothing wet in you. You can scream and curse to where your throat rebels and ruptures. You can pray, all you want, to whatever god you think will listen. And, still it makes no difference. It goes on, with no sign as to when it might release you. And you know that if it ever did relent...it would not be because it cared."
"Dear Die-ary, I stared, motionless, before the mirror. As always, I stayed until I'm convinced that there is no glass, nothing, separating me from the room I see on the other side. I imagine that everything is different over there. Better. There are people, in that world, who I would like. But, like always, my hand hits the glass. I know that if I'd only waited just one more second... Shit. I'm gonna go kill a party clown."
"Dear Die-ary, there's nothing terribly wrong with feeling lost, so long as that feeling precedes some plan on your part to actually do something about it. Too often a person grows complacent with their disillusionment, perpetually wearing their "discomfort" like a favorite shirt. I can't say I'm very pleased with where my life is just now... but I can't help but look forward to where it's going."
"The numbing mind-ream of knowing you're alone not because people won't accept you but because you find so little worth accepting. An imposed solitude is better than simply tolerating your company in waiting for something better. So loneliness is not such a terrible thing when you consider that the alternative to thought provoking solace is to be surrounded only by remindings of why that solitude is preferable."
"Sometimes...you can cry until there's nothing wet in you. You can scream and curse to where your throat rebels and ruptures. You can pray, all you want, to whatever god you think will listen. And, still it makes no difference. It goes on, with no sign as to when it might release you. And you know that if it ever did relent...it would not be because it cared."
"Dear Die-ary, I stared, motionless, before the mirror. As always, I stayed until I'm convinced that there is no glass, nothing, separating me from the room I see on the other side. I imagine that everything is different over there. Better. There are people, in that world, who I would like. But, like always, my hand hits the glass. I know that if I'd only waited just one more second... Shit. I'm gonna go kill a party clown."
"Dear Die-ary, there's nothing terribly wrong with feeling lost, so long as that feeling precedes some plan on your part to actually do something about it. Too often a person grows complacent with their disillusionment, perpetually wearing their "discomfort" like a favorite shirt. I can't say I'm very pleased with where my life is just now... but I can't help but look forward to where it's going."
"The numbing mind-ream of knowing you're alone not because people won't accept you but because you find so little worth accepting. An imposed solitude is better than simply tolerating your company in waiting for something better. So loneliness is not such a terrible thing when you consider that the alternative to thought provoking solace is to be surrounded only by remindings of why that solitude is preferable."
I should point out all of those quotes are from a comic book serial killer.
And the creator of Invader Zim.
Squee was better. :p
no way. filler bunny for life!
bluet: just tell her "I really like you, but I'm in love with a boy named Lars."
> Last night, the person I was sharing a bed with told me they think they're falling in love with me. I'm not really sure what I feel for this person. :/
Wow, that is an intense situation to reveal something like that in. And I will ask the question I'm sure I'm not alone in wondering about...why were you sleeping with this person? :o
Wow, that is an intense situation to reveal something like that in. And I will ask the question I'm sure I'm not alone in wondering about...why were you sleeping with this person? :o
The French style of sleeping is the best sleeping.
what kind is that?
> bluet: just tell her "I really like you, but I'm in love with a boy named Lars."
:p
> why were you sleeping with this person? :o
We were tired. We've been sleeping together for the last two weekends, so it's not that out of the ordinary.
:p
> why were you sleeping with this person? :o
We were tired. We've been sleeping together for the last two weekends, so it's not that out of the ordinary.
Found a very sick or very injured young squirrel on the sidewalk. Just pretty much baking on the concrete. I brought it inside and it's resting in a towel lined box right now. Put a wet paper towel over it's body and dribbled some water in/around it's mouth. I don't think it'll survive, though. And that makes me pretty anxious. :(
dp: apparently the French discovered sleeping in the same bed when actually sleeping.
^ bleh.
phi_ do you have updates for us? I am worried.
phi_ do you have updates for us? I am worried.
He seemed to be getting better, breathing seemed less struggled and more even. But he did die maybe two hours ago. Poor lil guy. :( At least he was comfortable for a while.
I hope for your sake you hadn't named him already. Did you? :(
In elementary school I ended up with a bird's nest full of baby birds. The mom died or something? I put them in a cushioned box in the garage with a heat lamp because it was fucking cold out and fed them multiple times a day before and after school, but it wasn't enough and they died off one by one. The one that hung on the longest I made the mistake of naming, and when I was not greeted by his excited little chips one afternoon I cried for something like three days.
Maybe it wasn't the naming so much as the fact that he really fought to live and I couldn't stop thinking about that last day when he was probably hungry and not warm enough and lonely.
gahhh
In elementary school I ended up with a bird's nest full of baby birds. The mom died or something? I put them in a cushioned box in the garage with a heat lamp because it was fucking cold out and fed them multiple times a day before and after school, but it wasn't enough and they died off one by one. The one that hung on the longest I made the mistake of naming, and when I was not greeted by his excited little chips one afternoon I cried for something like three days.
Maybe it wasn't the naming so much as the fact that he really fought to live and I couldn't stop thinking about that last day when he was probably hungry and not warm enough and lonely.
gahhh
His name was Frankie. :(
Anyway the point is that you did a good thing for little squirrel guy. <3
average life expectancy of a wild squirrel is 2 years.
I wonder how a squirrel would taste ... I've never eaten squirrel.
Etrangere: I didn't name him, no. Just kinda hoped he would get better.
Apparently people do eat squirrels so probably not bad.
They're really gamey.
Yes, I've eaten squirrel.
Yes, I've eaten squirrel.
oh.
So it's ok to eat beef, pork, chicken but not squirrel?
It's ok to eat squirrel, it just doesn't strike me as a particularly appealing-sounding animal.
I mean rabbit is awesome
I mean rabbit is awesome
GIRLS
No, don't eat those.
Ground up and in the freezer, just like my coffee. YUM.
who keeps their coffee in a freezer?
This morning I drafted my letter of resignation. It's dated Friday, August 5th...we'll see how that goes.
Was planning on posting this in awesome things done today, but the feeling in the pit of my stomach prevailed.
Was planning on posting this in awesome things done today, but the feeling in the pit of my stomach prevailed.
:(
> I'm not really sure what I feel for this person. :/
Well, shit. I'm in love. Too bad they're leaving for the US on Saturday.
Well, shit. I'm in love. Too bad they're leaving for the US on Saturday.
I'm sorry, bluet :(. being alone is kind of nice too?
Wait, you went from feeling indifferent to being in love? woh, crap timing bluet. I'm sorry...
> being alone is kind of nice too?
No. :(
> Wait, you went from feeling indifferent to being in love?
I was never indifferent, I was literally unsure about my feelings before.
> woh, crap timing bluet.
Yeah, I fear a long-distance relationship will be unbearably painful.
But I'll never regret having met this person.
No. :(
> Wait, you went from feeling indifferent to being in love?
I was never indifferent, I was literally unsure about my feelings before.
> woh, crap timing bluet.
Yeah, I fear a long-distance relationship will be unbearably painful.
But I'll never regret having met this person.
> a long-distance relationship will be unbearably painful.
In all likelihood, yes. :(
I'm glad you made the connection though!
In all likelihood, yes. :(
I'm glad you made the connection though!
truth on the distance relationship.
I am bound and determined to quit my fucking terrible job by the end of the month. My lease is also up at the end of the month.
Buuut I have not yet secured either another place to live NOR another job to make money at. Really suck at everything right now, you guys.
Buuut I have not yet secured either another place to live NOR another job to make money at. Really suck at everything right now, you guys.
:[
technically, i'm not beating you on either front. but i have student loans on the way, and i guess that's all one needs.
technically, i'm not beating you on either front. but i have student loans on the way, and i guess that's all one needs.
getting a drink with a girl tonight. mildly anxious.
also I am sorry you suck right now, etrangere. start applying to jobs!
one shot of scotch and one beer before the event. just enough to loosen you up but not enough to cause you any lessening of skillz.
etrangere, don't fear the reaper. goddamn the torpedoes, and whitey's on the moon.
hopefully you are now inspired to throw caution to the wind and pursue an interesting life.
also, possibly choose to become a rock star, and let us all be in your entourage.
hopefully you are now inspired to throw caution to the wind and pursue an interesting life.
also, possibly choose to become a rock star, and let us all be in your entourage.
I really like this girl. this is a new feeling.
and it's not anxiety, which is good.
\o/
I'm gonna do a shot for asemi! Details in it was a good day?
I'm gonna do a shot for asemi! Details in it was a good day?
happy for you asemi :-J
Former-better-half is due any day now (official date is the 17th, but she's been having some contractions yesterday and today). I have my backpacking pack filled with clothes, books, movies for her, and I have to lug it around everywhere because as soon as my phone rings I have to drive my happy ass to the Woodlands and deal with her pushing a baby out of her. :-/
This is so weird, I feel so disconnected from it all. I'm just following orders at this point, but it doesn't feel real.
This is so weird, I feel so disconnected from it all. I'm just following orders at this point, but it doesn't feel real.
It's pretty weird, but you're a good man for doing it (really).
oh, hi again
aaaaiiiiieeeeeeeeee
anxiety
girl that I have a crush on invited me to the bar with her and a bunch of people I don't know
not anxious about the other people, anxious about girl situation
I don't know why I'm typing like this but it seems to fit my state of mind
I am so exhausted; I've been up since 5 this morning
anxiety
girl that I have a crush on invited me to the bar with her and a bunch of people I don't know
not anxious about the other people, anxious about girl situation
I don't know why I'm typing like this but it seems to fit my state of mind
I am so exhausted; I've been up since 5 this morning
damn.
on a related note, i have another date with a girl that i like very much. i'm pretty guarded about my emotions, though, so i'm trying to not get very excited. :/
on a related note, i have another date with a girl that i like very much. i'm pretty guarded about my emotions, though, so i'm trying to not get very excited. :/
I try to be guarded but they come barreling on through. I try not to let them back out though.
hahah
live without regret i always say.
last night was interesting. just me and three others. this friend of hers I met was awful. constant narration of her stream of consciousness, ridiculous amount of completely unrelatable conversation with this kid she went to high school with, casually dropped her relatively high scores on the sat, gre, and latin sat ii.
afterward she told this girl that she hated me and thought I was pretentious. I can't stop laughing heartily out loud every time I think about this. my interjections into the conversation mostly consisted of joking that my school never had latin courses or a "young scholars" program.
man I hope I never see either of those people again. I know I can come off as a bit pretentious sometimes, but that's usually a manifestation of my dislike for someone, and in this case my disbelief at how long she could go on oppressively loudly about high school with no conversational input from anyone else save for that dude who would mostly just laugh at stupid shit she said.
afterward she told this girl that she hated me and thought I was pretentious. I can't stop laughing heartily out loud every time I think about this. my interjections into the conversation mostly consisted of joking that my school never had latin courses or a "young scholars" program.
man I hope I never see either of those people again. I know I can come off as a bit pretentious sometimes, but that's usually a manifestation of my dislike for someone, and in this case my disbelief at how long she could go on oppressively loudly about high school with no conversational input from anyone else save for that dude who would mostly just laugh at stupid shit she said.
I'm trying for the life of me to remember what else I said. I asked if any of them had been to the old boston garden before it was torn down. is that pretentious? like, "dude did you see them play in 1987 before they got big?"
some people really suck at conversation. I was even prepared to give her a chance (maybe she's a great person with redeeming qualities, and she did say a few funny things) until I heard her judgment of me, and that kind of sealed the deal. hahahah. I think this is so funny because I haven't had this effect on anyone in a while.
some people really suck at conversation. I was even prepared to give her a chance (maybe she's a great person with redeeming qualities, and she did say a few funny things) until I heard her judgment of me, and that kind of sealed the deal. hahahah. I think this is so funny because I haven't had this effect on anyone in a while.
I was into space exploration before we explored it all.
weird. so the girl you liked (not her friend) said that she (the girl you liked) hates you and finds you pretentious?
no no, the girl I like said that her friend thought that.
I was experiencing anxiety but then I wrote it all down and it's gone for now.
Hurray for that!
I feel like I'm getting my panic attacks under control!
how'd you do it? I am so grateful that I have never experienced one.
Co-worker died at work today. Thought is that it was a sudden and massive heart attack. Hit him at his desk. People did everything right. Hell even the conveniently located defrib machines helped... still nothing stopped him from passing.
Such utter fucking bullshit. Good guy. Such a terrible fucking way to go out.
=/ 2012 really is going to suck so incredibly much.
Such utter fucking bullshit. Good guy. Such a terrible fucking way to go out.
=/ 2012 really is going to suck so incredibly much.
jesus.
that's terrible, nny. i've had two coworkers die over the years, but none at work and none that i worked closely with.
i hope you're managing. they should give you time off.
i hope you're managing. they should give you time off.
nny: That's awful.
asemi: Sorry for the lack of response ... I'm not on my computer much anymore so I must have just glanced over your question without realizing it. One thing that really, really helps out when I'm having panic attacks is to change my diet up. I eat primarily raw (or dried) fruits and vegetables as well as lots of water and (real) juice... really, I should probably eat like that normally. My main mode of transportation since August-ish has been a bicycle so I'm sure the exercise helps as well.
That and I try to just work through them, though that isn't always an option.
asemi: Sorry for the lack of response ... I'm not on my computer much anymore so I must have just glanced over your question without realizing it. One thing that really, really helps out when I'm having panic attacks is to change my diet up. I eat primarily raw (or dried) fruits and vegetables as well as lots of water and (real) juice... really, I should probably eat like that normally. My main mode of transportation since August-ish has been a bicycle so I'm sure the exercise helps as well.
That and I try to just work through them, though that isn't always an option.
i'm sorry, nny.
Holy fuck nny
Currently between contracts waiting for paper work to clear for new one. Have a nice 5 digit reserve in the bank. Go to drop off some final checks I received today. Bank account is empty.
Anxiety has a name. It is 2012. And I am now very much wondering about these mayans and their prophecy. Was it aimed at me?
Anxiety has a name. It is 2012. And I am now very much wondering about these mayans and their prophecy. Was it aimed at me?
where did the money go?
Yikes!
Some is back working with bank... =/ bad luck year for me. Must mean 2013 will be fun.
Gasland is terrifying.
Oh, it's spinned to hell and back... I knew that going in, but that article only discusses an item or two about the movie (mainly the rare incidences of burning tap water, which the director says on camera is rare, not the norm) ... and even then, it was items I regarded as "artistic license" so I didn't take them as indicative of the entire industry.
That being said, there is major pollution occurring because of this industry and similar industries. That's what I found terrifying.
That being said, there is major pollution occurring because of this industry and similar industries. That's what I found terrifying.
Yes. Pollution is real. What is really terrifying though isn't major industry.
It's joe moron. The majority of Brazil's carbon footprint is caused by peruvian farmers burning down the rain forest in a vain attempt to create land to farm. They of course have no understanding of agricultural engineering and fail to realize that the rain forest isn't a very good location to be farming. But they don't care. They know how to farm, albeit poorly, and pretty much nothing else.
The problem in the world today isn't mechanical marvels, or shady business practices. The problem is rampant stupidity and a complete lack of any desire to actually address the issue.
It's joe moron. The majority of Brazil's carbon footprint is caused by peruvian farmers burning down the rain forest in a vain attempt to create land to farm. They of course have no understanding of agricultural engineering and fail to realize that the rain forest isn't a very good location to be farming. But they don't care. They know how to farm, albeit poorly, and pretty much nothing else.
The problem in the world today isn't mechanical marvels, or shady business practices. The problem is rampant stupidity and a complete lack of any desire to actually address the issue.
One of the reasons so much rainforest is being burned is because of the demand of "clean" biofeul...
> The problem in the world today isn't mechanical marvels, or shady business practices. The problem
> is rampant stupidity and a complete lack of any desire to actually address the issue.
Couldn't have said it better.
> The problem in the world today isn't mechanical marvels, or shady business practices. The problem
> is rampant stupidity and a complete lack of any desire to actually address the issue.
Couldn't have said it better.
So... yeah, I just found out that my maternal grandfather, whom I've only seen once in my life, has been suffering from paranoid schizophrenia most of his life and frequently attacked and threatened my grandmother and mother and aunt ... given my predisposition to anixety attacks and high-low mood cycles I'm going to try and schedule an appointment at my school's psychiatry center. I'm not really worried ... I just want to nip this shit in the bud if I can, but until then... :-/
Much better than letting the doubt linger.
I have a friend who was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. With medication you can live a fairly successful life for the most part. At least ( hopefully ) until you are entering old age. Early diagnosis does help a lot.
It's definitely worthwhile to do. Even if it turns out to be an issue ( I hope and doubt it will ) it's the best way to deal with it and still enjoy your life.
It's definitely worthwhile to do. Even if it turns out to be an issue ( I hope and doubt it will ) it's the best way to deal with it and still enjoy your life.
Appointment is on Tuesday at 11:30AM. Also, now knowing that my family has a history of this, I've given away all my smoking (cannabis) paraphernalia and my stash. My friends love me right now. haha.
I'm also 99.alot% certain that this isn't the sort of thing that can be figured out in a single hour-long session ... so this will be an anxious indeterminate period of time.
Just finished my intake session ... I'm a bit more anxious now. :-/
Keep positive. Take it one step at a time.
Yeah. I'm more positive now than I was yesterday. But fuck. If you want to feel crazy, get grilled by a psychologist.
hehehe. I always default to the quote from freud... "never try to psychoanalyze the Irish."
I've never been asked so many different ways if I ever: see or hear things others don't, have suicidal or homicidal thoughts, or have had run-ins with the police.
(answers: no, once/no, no ... but that last one is mainly because I don't want to start a fight with someone who can throw me down metal stairs with impunity.)
(answers: no, once/no, no ... but that last one is mainly because I don't want to start a fight with someone who can throw me down metal stairs with impunity.)
I think I'm going on a date tonight...
I hope she's real.
why haven't I posted this song in this thread?: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXFYLlTw8wE
yeah, it wasn't a date. But we made out all night tonight. so, WOO!
NICE
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhdddddflllllllllllllldskfsjj
latest anxiety update: getting a drink with this girl who I have been in love (exaggerating) with for over a year. she is puzzling and sometimes doesn't reply to my text messages but asked me to get a drink tonight so here we goooooooooo.
WHY AM I SO INFATUATED AGHGHGHGH
bitches ain't shit ...
BUT THEY ARE
Classic line.
"Bitches and hoes don't exist, because the hoes know Bo's a feminist." - Bo Burnham.
My girlfriend's insecurity is really starting to wear me out. And she tries to Mother me all the time. It's been getting so bad I've contemplated just ending it at times... this stresses me out.
My girlfriend's insecurity is really starting to wear me out. And she tries to Mother me all the time. It's been getting so bad I've contemplated just ending it at times... this stresses me out.
this anxiety-induced loss of appetite is getting a bit out of hand.
maybe I'll just eat clif bars and gatorade for the rest of my life.
and phi_, it sounds like you should probably end it. or have a serious talk.
I'm gonna go with the talk route... see if I can't make this work long(er)-term.
still infatuated. trying to maintain residual happiness from seeing her without letting anxiety creep in too much, and succeeding for the most part. but it's definitely at the gates.
I am so awful at expressing emotion in the moment but I had this mental clarity on sunday after seeing her and spent hours writing. hopefully it's not a month before I see her again.
I am so awful at expressing emotion in the moment but I had this mental clarity on sunday after seeing her and spent hours writing. hopefully it's not a month before I see her again.
3000+ words, due tomorrow. 0 written. :-/
Fucking 3 tests this week. Goddamn. May have to stay up 48 hours straight.
Rather interesting:
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2 … ty/355741/
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2 … ty/355741/
And two double scotches, when administered in quick enough succession, can obscure existential dread, making it seem fuzzier and further away.
god damn.
this is rather interesting. thanks for the link! I need to get up on RSS again.
i take 20 mg of propranolol before presentations. sometimes it helps...
ahhhhhh I forgot what this was like! new girl. kind of enjoying the butterflies and loss of appetite.
:) i miss that. it's been a couple years
ahhhhhhhhhhhhh the old anxiety thread! I still have weird food/appetite issues when I'm anxious (basicallly I just lose my appetite) but I think I'm much less anxious in general now which is cool.
Texas. Texas is the root cause of my fucking anxiety.
Haha. Where in Texas? I grew up north of Dallas. Still visit once or twice a year.
i've learned a lot about anxiety over the past few years.
this thread is like reading an old livejournal of mine or something lol. maybe just vaguer.
what have you learned, lucas?
what have you learned, lucas?
i've noticed a lack of appetite lately. that's new for me, i think
there is a new girl. i'm not really nervous about it, which is also new for me
what gives me a great amount of anxiety these days is government bureaucracy. taxes, healthcare and such
there is a new girl. i'm not really nervous about it, which is also new for me
what gives me a great amount of anxiety these days is government bureaucracy. taxes, healthcare and such