think tank forum

where's the passion?

thinktankforums.com expires in one month. i was seriously considering transfering ownership of the domain to someone else, giving them the database and code, and letting them run the website. i just feel kinda bored and trapped.

this gives rise to bigger considerations: maybe i'll get rid of all of my unnecessary technology and stuff and my other websites! i've always wondered what it feels like to not check e-mail daily! then i eventually get to the point where i have no belongings. i'm just sitting in my new house without anything (my new room is a cabin with a sunk-in floor, built off of a garage.)

at this point, i recall my high school years. i was always kicking the shit out of something. (1) i constantly bought new computers. i built a desktop, bought a ultrasparc, bought a laptop, built a server, bought a bunch of dual-proc parts. (2) i jumped into the wireless project with dp and dc, connecting our houses' LANs with wifi. (3) i was always learning more about bsd, hardware, networking, web design, sysadmin, etc. (4) i operated a web hosting company for close to one year, despite it costing me thousands of dollars.

now here i am, being the most frugal i have ever been. in addition, i have things i'd like to do, but i don't feel that spark like i did in the past. i have a huge to do list, but nothing ever gets crossed off.

the plan for ttf was:
1.0-beta - testing/coding
1.0-release - full featured php4/mysql4
2.0-release - full featured RoR/AJAX/mysql5

with the software and design up to par, all ttf would need is better membership. i was going to take care of this with posters, free ttf t-shirts, and more.

guess what! i'm stuck at "1.0-beta series - testing/coding." in fact, i was so sure that i wouldn't code any more, i locked in this version as "love" (refer to your title bar.)

so this lack of ttf passion hints at a deeper problem with myself lately. where is the passion? in the old days nothing was an issue. i didn't care about money, time, or the future/consequences. now i'm troubled with all three, and i'm simply not enthusiastic.

where is the passion? in the old days nothing was an issue. i didn't care about money, time, or the future/consequences. now i'm troubled with all three, and i'm simply not enthusiastic.

man, this hits home so hard for me. I'm not passionate about anything these days. the only thing I'm excited about right now is saving up money for a laptop, but sometimes I think that's not going to be so cool either.

it has a lot to do with school (college) being obscenely boring and redundant for me. it seems like everything is either so easy it's boring as hell or the material is actually challenging but the professor is miserable at teaching it in an effective way.

all I'm doing this summer is working four days a week to pay rent, which isn't so bad, but it doesn't leave me a ton of time to do anything very meaningful, fun, or long-lasting. I want to do stuff like set up a firewall with OpenBSD but I'm having a hard time motivating myself because it seems pointless a lot of the time.

I also sometimes consider the possibility that this lack of passion to do anything is a result of not having very many meaningful or deep relationships with people. I'm not very emotionally close to either of my best friends from high school, one of whom I live with. my other two best friends I'm pretty close to but I've only known each of them for about a year.

argh, who knows. the path of least resistance is staying in school and working part-time like I usually do, so that's probably what I'm going to do. maybe it's not the best idea, but it's the easiest.

oh, and as for TTF, do what you want. I think what hinders it a lot is a lack of focus and a lack of geographical proximity.

I post on bsdnexus because I like BSD and think it's interesting.

I post on this other local message board because most of the people who post there are from around Boston. it doesn't have focus but it has the potential of planning cool hangouts and the like.

TTF doesn't really have either, so I think it's a harder forum to get off the ground.

it does have a focus. thought.

ideally, yes. realistically, no, it doesn't make me think, except about how much it sucks and why.

If I wasn't majoring in IT I seriously wouldnt do anymore research into new OS's or anything IT. It's just gotten old trying to learn more and more new crap all the time and I dont really have a passion for it, so you might ask why am I majoring in it? Mostly because I had work because it is "Work" and I wouldnt really enjoy anything ive realized so I might as well finish what im doing. LR I think thought is better expressed on the fly rather than in a forum. Sure thought can be expressed here, but I think its missing the in for your face, human interaction.

ase> realistically, no, it doesn't make me think, except about how much it sucks and why.

why, then?

and tp: so what good are forums?

crap I thought I made a post after mine explaining myself. I thought you were talking about school, not the forums :|.

as for the forums, I think thought just isn't as concrete a focus as some people need to stay interested.

trent: if you're not happy with what you're doing then you best get out quick. i do it in school because it's a complete obsession for me. i read whitepapers, text books, anything i can get my hands on constantly because it interests me. i'm quitting my second job so that i can study again, even if it means i won't have much money at all. as i recently told ck, i'm doing my best to become a crusader against those who resign to sadness or mediocrity because they feel they're obligated or it's easier.
that's my rant.

db: perhaps you could start a new thread and expound on your crusade. thanks.

db: I hate work , no matter what it is. There are a million other things I could be doing besides being someone elses paid slave.

lr: forums in my opinion are good as a way to stay in touch and discuss recent events and or news. As far as hosting serious debates on them, I dont really think they are fit for it. This is mainly because people have all the time in the world to think and research stuff before posting, if your talking to someone straight up you dont have the luxary to do this. Forums may add a degree research, but nothing can beat straight up debate when your talking to someone in person.

I agree with Trent here. It's a mighty fine way to keep in touch... e-mail aside.

Trent and phi spoke for me. Its nice to keep in touch and see how everyone is progressing in life.

If need be, I might take over the forums if its really a burden. What is it costing you?

i have copied and pasted what i consider to be relevant postings to a different thread concerning happiness at work.

happiness at work: http://www.thinktankforums.com/thread.php?thr … #post-1574

bringing back the passion!

minoring in education has spiced up school for me!

got a much better job too.

how the hell was I working only four days a week and able to pay rent?

Losing drive sucks. But you won't ever regain inspiration if you do nothing. If you choose to leave thinktankforums... do so because you've found something better.

I think we need a TTF meetup before you decide anything.

dude this post is old haha i just dug it up

unless i'm confused about what's going down right now

i was just bringing back the passion!